What shall we talk about

The fun side of this job is that hopefully, you keep meeting new people. Of course, if they really like you and want you back to care for them, then you will have broken the communication barrier and this will not be a problem for you. So this post is to help you start a good flow of conversation at the outset.

A good place to start

First impressions count. Show warmth and friendliness and let this carry through in your body language. Let them be the focus of your attention. Enquire about their health or their family. Maintain eye contact but keep it relaxed. Be a good listener. Make sure you understand any requests they make by repeating it back to them so there is no confusion.

Useful topics of conversation

The golden rule has always been to avoid religion and politics. That is always sound advice. There is still plenty to talk about :

• gently ask them about themselves, they may have had fascinating careers or lived through significant world events (depending on the client you may not need the rest of this list as this item alone might keep them fully energised for the whole duration of your stay).   
• food and restaurants, local and all over the world
• holiday destinations and why they choose them
• music, including changes in taste of music as one gets older
• current sporting events e.g. football matches, horse races, Olympics
• pets and other animals 
• X-factor, The Voice, Great British Bake Off, Strictly Come Dancing or whatever current TV show or celebrity gossip or scandal (none of these will work if your client is an intellectual but  if things need spicing up these should do the trick one way or another) 

Total respect

It is a genuine privilege to spend time with these amazing people. They have wonderful stories to tell and we can honestly learn so much from them. Some of them were pioneers in industries or even present during the two world wars. Many of them can share incredible tales of courage and bravery when they were young. These people are so inspiring and they honestly deserve our absolute respect. It will be a most rewarding and enriching experience for you to listen to them and understand their world. 

Putting on the gloves

I remember when my mom had to have a colonoscopy. I still wonder if she had to have it, nevertheless she was sent for one. "Lie back and think of England... "   I digress.
When we met the surgeon at the initial consultation he was suitably dressed to impress with good quality trousers, long sleeved shirt and a tie. In the theatre however he was quite a formidable sight with his industrial strength plastic apron, white gumboots and brandishing his camera stuck on that long flexible pipe. The pipe probably has a correct medical name but they tactfully spare us the finer details.  They adhere to the theory that the less we know the better. Anyway it was not quite " the devil wears Prada," but certainly he dons plastic.

Personal Protective Equipment

The image of the surgeon in his protective gear was what came to  mind when covering the topic in training. The surgeon had done the procedure loads of times and he knew the kinds of things that could happen. People have worked out long back that disposable protective kit is way better than complicated and near impossible laundry. As a carer you will most likely be handling the laundry too.
If your assignment entails personal care, do yourself a favour and get the stuff you need. Just try and be really discreet and laid back about how you put it on and take it off when in front of the client. Humour will help a lot too.

Cleaning the loo

While we are "talking dirty" I have another strong image in my mind that compares very favourably with any training I have ever had on health and hygiene. A friend  of mine was undergoing medical training and shared the surprising results of a field trip the students were taken on. They were measuring the fecal content of the display shelves at the local take away. The look of disgust on her face said it all. The hygiene was considerably lacking in an area where absolute cleanliness was critical.  

Another school colleague was a newly graduated doctor in private practise in the local community.
I met her in the supermarket and saw about ten bottles of really strong thick toilet cleaner dominating the space in her trolley. Her training must have emphasised the importance of toilet hygiene, and this vivid picture in my mind has been a permanent reminder of something that is really important in every home.

Gloves

Strong rubber gloves and disposable ones are essential for a number of tasks in the home. Using them for cleaning the loo makes the job less daunting. If you are allergic to one kind you may not be to another. Be sensible about their use and disposal, and minimise the risk of infection.  There are some great You Tube videos on cleaning toilets in case you have lived this long without having to clean your own and need to confirm the best method. You can get it down to fine art and be done properly in under three minutes. Your health and that of your client depends on it
So put on your gloves and just go for it.

Food glorious food

Mealtime is probably the highlight of the day for your client. It is an integral part of why you are there. Make sure you know how to prepare simple nutritious meals for your clients. Food safety and hygiene should be covered in your training, but make it your business to have as much kitchen knowledge as possible.

Practice makes perfect

If you know cooking might be a problem for you, get some practice in before you leave home. Get some good recipe books or search on YouTube, there is tons of free information out there. You might have a favourite chef who has done beginner courses and videos you can learn from.

Jamie shows us how

I am a  big fan of  Jamie Oliver and this site has everything to get you started. Explore the whole site, there is tons of information there to get you up and running. There is also a brilliant video of what NOT to do in a kitchen.

You will find so many useful sites, pick one you like and learn as much as you can.

Easily chewed and swallowed foods

You need to continue with your clients preferred diet when caring for them. However, you will be more confident if you arrive with a repertoire of at least five breakfasts, lunches, and dinners, plus some decent puddings (bread and butter pudding is an absolute must.) Remember that your clients are likely to have problems with things like chewing, and maybe even swallowing, so choose meals that are easily tolerated by older folk.

Supermarket lifesavers 

Supermarkets also make things easy these days with nearly ready to eat things like fish already battered and crumbed. All you have to do is prepare them exactly as stated on the packaging and add some well prepared and cooked vegetables.  If salads are suitable for your client, make sure pieces are cut small to make it easier for them, Custard, jellies and ice cream are evergreen favourites for dessert.

Check the online stores to get an idea of what is available in the shops that would be suitable for older peoples menus.

Practice makes perfect

Well presented and tasty food will make your client happy and keep them healthy. You might even be forgiven for other things you aren't that good at as long as they enjoy your food.

Forget the Friday Happy Dance

Remember in your old life when you did a happy dance on Friday morning? That bum wiggle you did as soon as you got into the office and smiled at your colleagues? Bad news, as a carer there is no Friday feeling. Every day is just another day.  Once you are on duty it is work time. You will get your scheduled breaks as agreed but strictly speaking the deal is that you are on duty 24/7.

Remember why you are there

If the thought of having no weekend upsets you, remember that each day you will be earning your agreed rate. You can make it really exciting for yourself by writing the cumulative total you have earned each day in your own private diary. Then depending on your circumstances, give yourself a decent break before taking up your next assignment. Then you can do a happy dance for your time off even if it happens to start on a Monday.

Longer bookings

As I write this I have done a solid month with no break in between. I was supposed to end after three and a half weeks but was asked to extend by a fortnight as the returning carer had a family emergency. I have ten more nights to go and I know I can hold out because I have such a wonderful client. But my feet are starting to twitch and I know they  are looking forward to doing a happy dance.

A perfect two weeks

The industry standard seems to be two weeks. I can really see why. It makes so much sense. It is enough time to tune in to a changed environment. Most people can get along well for two weeks. If either of you has a small problem with the other that doesn't warrant early termination, you can usually hold out for the remaining period and still leave on good terms. Even if you are getting along well, conversation might start drying up after more than a fortnight.  Make sure your agent knows what work pattern will suit you but remember to allow for plenty happy dances.  Any day can be Happy Dance day when you are a carer.

Carer's essential travel kit

Lugging suitcases around train stations and up and down stairs is no fun. You will be on your own with no one to help you. You need to be able to manage all your stuff by yourself. How many times have you gone on holiday with way too much luggage and not even touched half of what you took? The same thing applies when you go caring.

There is a definite art to travelling light. Great advice I read recently was to take half as much luggage as you planned and twice as much money. Start planning your kit in advance. Research the weather conditions expected but always have a contingency plan for extreme weather conditions.

Clothes

For clothing, layers always work best. Leggings and long T shirts can work on their own or add an extra layer of warmth under looser tops and trousers. Three or four trousers and tops will be enough. Camisole type vests can double up as winter warmers and summer tops.  You should be able to do laundry regularly but check the care labels of your garments so you know if they are drip dry and whether or not they can be tumble dried. Three or four sets of socks and undies will be enough.

Think carefully about your sleepwear as you may not have space for a gown. You may need to attend to your client at night so you need modest and practical sleepwear. Consider a scarf or poncho that can double as a dressing gown.

Mostly the homes you are in will be well heated so as long as you have a light jacket or jersey for indoors you should be fine. It is best to take off your shoes in other peoples homes so a pair of slippers or indoor only shoes is a good idea. In training they suggested crocs might be useful when showering a client, but it depends on the configuration of the shower.

For outdoors you will need a good coat, and can usually find one at the charity shops for around GBP 8. In winter remember a warm hat and gloves. Non slip outdoor shoes for icy weather
are essential.

Toiletries and cosmetics

We all have different priorities when it comes to toiletries and cosmetics but try and work out what is the least amount of stuff you need to ensure your comfort and well being.  For some it might be all over moisturiser, body wash, shampoo and deodorant.  For cosmetics some people can manage with just foundation, mascara and lipstick.  Pack whatever works for you, but also remember you may find yourself in a rural location miles away from shops so you wont always be able to immediately replace when you run out of something.   Think about your hair products and work out your absolute must haves. Leave the rest behind. If you are doing short stints like a fortnight at a time you could look at the travel pack section in the pharmacy and get small sizes of everything.

You might want to take a really small hand towel that doubles as a bathmat. You should be given towels where you work so that helps minimise luggage.

Health products

Just in case nipping off to the shops is not an option wherever you land up caring, make sure you have a mini medical supply to cover most situations that arise. Paracetamol or equivalent is a definite must. Flu remedies, antiseptic cream, vapour rub and plasters will all be useful. You might find yourself in situations where a small bottle of disinfectant is a useful idea too.  Do not forget your nail clippers and emery boards. If your client needs personal care, short nails are essential. In training we were advised not to wear nail polish or rings, so those can stay a home. I think flat discreet rings are fine, but no rings that can damage delicate skin when working with a client. Depending on the level of care you are giving you are often expected to provide your own disposable gloves. Even if not doing personal care for your client you might be glad of your own protective gloves for dish washing and bathroom cleaning. You are likely to be in a home that is well heated but you may find a hot water bottle useful in colder weather and for soothing any aches and pains. 

Vital extras

Your smart phone will be essential for communicating with your agency and prospective clients. Check out airtime and data deals and consider investing in a dongle although often clients will provide Wi fi. Stick with 3G if they give you a choice when buying a simcard, 4G has not been set up everywhere so if you are in a remote area you might not have a phone signal with 4G. Having said that you can still survive with 4G as long as you have wi fi for email, whatsapp and facebook calling.  

If you are a self employed carer you will need an invoice book to invoice your clients. An A5 size will probably be best, but you will manage with a smaller one. 

You will acquire a pile of documents and certificates so a display file will be useful. Alternatively have something that keeps all your papers together so they don't get damaged.

Bearing in mind that you have to carry everything, you still need to think about your entertainment. A kindle is brilliant for an endless supply of reading material. You need to weigh up the pros and cons of  having a laptop or ipad. Remember this will mainly be for use in your time off  as your client needs your undivided attention. In the presence of your client a smart phone will be more discreet and acceptable than anything bigger, but as this is not really acceptable carer behaviour it is best to avoid electronic media in front of your client. 

If you are going to a remote client away from shops, you might want some of  your favourite sweets or snacks.  There is nothing worse than craving the unobtainable!

Handbag versus rucksack

Ditch your fancy handbag which will slip on your jackets and get in the way when you are trying to manage your other bags.  Rather have a waterproof rucksack style bag with lots of  zipped compartments where it will be easier to find everything. If you are struggling to manage your load you can always carry it in front of you rather than on your back and this might minimize back strain.  

Test it

Gather your kit together in good time so that you can have a trial pack and carry session. If you can find some stairs to practise on, give it a go. Enlist a friend who has been caring or travelled light before so she can help you prune the unnecessary. If you have a long driveway try taking your load to your gate and back. Be really honest with yourself and think of carrying that load in a strange place where knights in shining armour are going about their own business and can't help you. See what stuff you can leave behind and keep pruning until you can manage everything on your own.

Failing that

If you are struggling to prune your kit and cannot carry it solo, you  might prefer to only go in summer so you do not have to think about the woollies. Just remember summer is really short though and you can never quite tell when it will be. Or alternatively just take two of every item of clothing preferably all in navy blue or black and only take assignments where they can promise you a tumble drier that they don't mind you using every day.  You will soon become a pro at travelling light and wonder why you ever took so much away with you on all your previous travels.